I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
