Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
