He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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