Plan B is the new Plan A
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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