I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
