Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
