I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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