I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
