Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
