Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
