this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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