DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
