I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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