Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
