i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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