I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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