Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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(706): View more from Georgia

In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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(254): View more from Texas

Do you think county jail has a Groupon?

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(845): View more from New York

It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.

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