Midget sex pt 2 tonight
no, he came in my armpit
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
