OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
