what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize