Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
