I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
