Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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