Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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