So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
