I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
