Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
