it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
