you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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