you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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