now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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