No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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