just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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