i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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