yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
