I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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