Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
