i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
