who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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