Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
