When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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