a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want nice things and good sex
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize