I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
