Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
