I'm going to jail i love you
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
