Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
They are going to name an STD after you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
