i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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