Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
