They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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