yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
did you get engaged???
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize