btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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