i think my mom watched the whole time
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
