Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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