I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
