I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
