No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
