Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize