moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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