A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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