I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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