On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
