lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
