FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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