look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
