I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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