he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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