Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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