i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
