I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
